


Heart

by oiyukis, saccarines (orphan_account)



Series: Christmas/Holiday Fic 2013 [4]
Category: CLAMP - Works, X/1999
Genre: Just Slightly Yandere, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, dark!Subaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oiyukis/pseuds/oiyukis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/saccarines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently, Subaru had chosen him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart

**Author's Note:**

> For My [Waifu](http://truptutupta.tumblr.com/) ~  
> So, um. I'm sorry. I wanted to do something fluffy, but everything changed when dark!Subaru attacked. So; warnings for dark!Subaru/just slightly yandere!Subaru

Kamui knew it wasn’t healthy. Far from it, in fact. It was Subaru, though, so-

Well.

It wasn’t really Subaru anymore, was it? It was some kind of mix between Subaru and what little Kamui had known about the Sakurazukamori that Subaru had…loved? Wanted to be? Wanted to belong to? He wasn’t sure what the specific details were; he knew Subaru was channeling again, channeling a dead man, and he knew that Subaru needed something to fixate on, like he had when his predecessor was still alive.

Apparently, Subaru had chosen him.

Kamui liked to think that Subaru had struggled with the decision to let himself become so…different. That the reason he’d been gone so long – almost two years – after the dust had settled from the final battle was because his consciousness was attempting to coax him into _not_ being like the man who had held the title before him. 

By the time Subaru had suddenly appeared in Tokyo again – and, to be honest, Kamui still wasn’t sure why he himself had stayed in the city after everything – Kamui had (somehow) graduated high school, and moved out of the supposed safety of Imonoyama-san’s mansion. He shared an apartment with a couple from a small town near Tokyo, though he rarely saw his roommates due to conflicting work schedules, and though Kamui spent quite a bit of time on University grounds, he didn’t attend the institution himself.

After the battle, school just didn’t seem… _right_.

Then, Subaru had reappeared.

Not all at once; there was no quick, happy reunion or quiet conversation about things lost or why Subaru had fought for Fuuma when the battle began. It started as glimpses that Kamui had thought were just his imagination – reflections in shop windows when he walked around town, a figure hovering among the tree branches outside his window. Typically things Kamui hadn’t ever thought to associate with the older man.

Once Subaru had actually shown himself, things…changed. They talked. Had lunch sometimes. Kamui was careful to keep it discrete; Imonoyama-san had been very clear when he’d said he didn’t want anyone associating with a Sakurazukamori – old friend or not. Keepings secrets from a man who had eyes and ears all over Tokyo, though, was difficult, and he’d found out one way or another.

He hadn’t been happy. None of them had been. Not Karen, not Yuuta, not even Yuzuriha. They understood what it meant for Subaru to be the Sakurazukamori, and they weren’t as eager to overlook the circumstances of his return as Kamui had been.

Hence, unhealthy.

When Subaru… _fixated_ on something, he did it fully. When he’d been fixated on Sakurazuka Seishirou, he’d adopted almost all of his behaviors – even some of his looks. When he turned his fixation on Kamui, it was more subtle than that. It started with a genuine interest in Kamui’s life – from suggestions that he should go to school to inquiries about his roommates. From there, it became a bit more…physical.

Before, they’d never held back touching each other. Their first meeting had happened with Kamui’s face in his hands and Subaru passed out on top of him, so physicality was hardly an issue. Now – after two years with no contact until his sudden, and probably self-serving, return – the first time Subaru had brushed his gloved fingers down Kamui’s arm, he’d jolted. The first time he’d brushed his _bare_ fingers down Kamui’s _cheek_ , Kamui had literally put two feet between them out of sheer shock.

It had surprised him, mostly because of Subaru’s bare skin, but also because of the boldness of the act. The Subaru he remembered would only reach out if Kamui, or himself, needed comfort. The Subaru he remembered didn’t show interest in Kamui complimentary to caressing his face (no matter how much Kamui had wanted him to).

This Subaru was not the Subaru he remembered.

This Subaru was the Subaru that looked the remaining Chosen Ones in the eyes when they told him to stop seeking Kamui out – because they were worried, and they could see how fundamentally _different_ Subaru was; Kamui understood that – and told them, quite calmly, they couldn’t make him stop.

Kamui did try to stay away from Subaru after that. He did.

Try, being the operative word.

The problem with _try_ was that Subaru just… _knew_ him. Knew him better than the others did, and Kamui needed someone like that in his life. Subaru had been the only one to understand – _truly_ understand – Kamui’s desperation to save Fuuma. Subaru had been an anchor – something good, and sweet, something that made Kamui want to survive.

Kamui couldn’t just pretend Subaru didn’t exist.

He’d tried, the first time Subaru left, and it hadn’t worked.

Which was, essentially, the reason-

“Kamui”

Kamui glanced up, thoughts scattered. Subaru was staring at him, all dark eyes and upset frown. His fingers – bare, as he’d taken to keeping them – were poised along the rim of his mug, soaking the steam that continued to rise from the contents. Kamui couldn’t remember what he’d ordered.

“What are you thinking about?” Subaru tilted his head just so, giving the impression of natural curiosity.

“Just…” Kamui shrugged, “things.”

“Things,” Subaru quoted, lifting the drink to take a quick sip. “Such as?”

“Us.”

Kamui had never really been one to hold back his thoughts, when it came to Subaru. There was no point in starting now.

Subaru set his mug down, waiting for Kamui to explain.

“We…” Kamui sighed, frustrated. “This is unhealthy.”

Subaru studied him for a moment. “Probably.”

“You’re not going to stop.”

“No.”

“…and you’re not going to let me stop.”

“Well,” Subaru said carefully, fingers tracing the rim of his cup, “could you?”

Kamui frowned, toeing the ground under his chair. He looked away, finding something to pin his eyes to so he didn’t have to look at Subaru’s inquisitive ones.

The fingers at his cheek surprised him, turning his head forward again. Subaru lowered his hand, but he didn’t retract it from Kamui’s side of the table. “Could you stay away from me? Ignore me when you see me on the street? Pretend that we aren’t living in the same city, running in the same circles?”

“We don’t run in the same circles.”

“Closer than you’d think,” Subaru said, soft. He was silent after that, awaiting Kamui’s answer.

“No,” Kamui finally decided, shifting in his seat, “I probably couldn’t.”

Subaru inclined his head, moving back to his side of the table.

“You like that,” Kamui accused. “You wouldn’t have. _Before_.”

“It’s not before.”

Kamui frowned as Subaru stood, arranging his used dishes closer together. He dropped his eyes to the table when Subaru glanced over at him, and felt his lips turn into what probably resembled a pout, at least to Subaru.

“Walk with me?”

Kamui folded his arms, masking his surprise. “Where?”

“Home.”

It was Kamui’s turn to study Subaru – his dark eyes to his dispassionate mouth. There was something, though. A spark in his eyes, of unease…worry that Kamui _would_ be able to stop? That he was far stronger than either of them would admit to.

Kamui pushed out of his chair, and he didn’t protest when Subaru pulled him in close – affirming that he was there? Kamui sent a mental apology to his friends – this was going to make them worry, more than they already did.

“Alright,” Kamui said, voice quiet. “Let’s go home.”


End file.
